Although I would like to keep my identity anonymous (at least for now), I don’t want to keep my life and experiences a secret.
The inspiration for this blog came to me one night after I spent about an hour crying over school work, friends, family, and really any situation my brain could think of. I laid in my dark bedroom staring at the ceiling thinking I couldn’t be the only one who broke down like this, had these feelings, or wanted to hide from the world but also wanted to talk to someone and not feel like a burden.
I want to write and create this blog for me as much as I want to write it in hopes that others that are experiencing similar things can see they are not alone. While many mental health resources exist, I find that many of them seem too informational or too positive (which I’m not saying is a bad thing). When I’m in the middle of a depressive episode and I see a post or a picture telling me how great life is and how everything will be fine, all I think is that whoever wrote it should fuck right off (pardon the language). I’m sure that there are people out there who appreciate those posts or informational sites, but for those who would like the perspective of someone going through similar things to them, then I guess this is something they can try and read as well.
In no capacity whatsoever am I a licensed therapist or counsellor. And if I ask my best friends I’m sure they would say to ignore 90% of things I say, (kidding maybe….) but I feel like when I was at my worst, if I read something like what I hope this blog to be, then it would’ve helped me, even if it was just a little.
With all that being said, let me introduce myself a little bit :). I am a Mathematics student at the University of Waterloo. I love all things math, Netflix, Disney+, true crime (including fake crime tv lol), baking and especially chocolate. I have a sister, two loving parents, cousins and friends who make up my irreplaceable support system.
A little more than a year ago (November 2018), I was officially diagnosed with clinical depression and anxiety. A few months after that (January 2019), I started taking SSRI’s, a common form of antidepressants, and a couple months after that (March 2019) I started going to quite a few therapy sessions. Personally, I would say that I have had anxiety, at least in a minor form for about 3-4 years and depression for about a year before I went to the doctor.
It took a long time, but I have come to terms with my mental health and worked hard to improve it even through the many set backs. I won’t lie and say it’s easy or that I’m cured or that I’m doing amazing. But I have gotten to the point where I am happy with my life and happy with the progress I have made thus far even though I know there’s still quite a ways to go.
I hope that if anyone who happens to read this blog and think it could be helpful to them or someone they know, sees that whatever they’re going through is normal and that they are not the only one experiencing it. The comment section is always available for anyone to ask questions anonymously about anything they’d like and definitely not limited to just mental health.
Another reason why I decided to keep my identity anonymous for now is so that people feel more comfortable sharing their thoughts and feelings. There is a lot of power behind anonymity and I want others to be able to come and share their thoughts, feelings and experiences knowing that no one in their real life will judge them or know unless they want them to.
I’m just another person that life threw some curveballs at and even if this blog can help one person out there it will have been worth it (sorry for the quite sappy ending there).
I’d just like to end off this opening post by saying that even if you feel alone right now, you don’t have to be. If you ever need to talk, please don’t hesitate to leave a comment or send me an email at email@example.com :).
With lots of love,
Your Mental Health Mathie ❤